Alan and I went to the Peak District again this year, full of hope that the weather would be better than last year, when there was still snow on the ground in some places. I knew however, that the minute Alan and I stepped foot in the UK, the heatwave would break. Well, at least the weather was good most of the time.
It was actually fascinating as the guide explained the process to us. I think the kids were a little underwhelmed by it, especially when he produced paper, a glue stick and some swatches for them to complete after. I think it was a bit too much like school for them. Last I saw them, they were sitting on the floor reading a book and the parents were engrossed in the machines.
I think it would be fair to say that in the few days we spent together, we sat up late, shared a few bottles of champagne and wine, ate copious amounts of whatever was to hand and laughed until we cried.
I have to say that sadly, as guests, they were less than nice to me, especially when I tried to download my emails for free at the local bar, by making them stand and examine the menu. After doing it twice in one afternoon and having to listen to my fake explanation about the place where we were standing as my emails struggled to download and send, they offered to just pay for me to download the emails. Hum, they never did quite get into the spirit of getting something for nothing.
I also promised to take Lou and Jack to see a chateau nearby. I am not sure exactly how many times I attempted this, but sadly I got sidetracked each time. I felt the thank you note I received from Jack was less than gracious, and I quote:
Thanks for driving us around & finding a 100 different ways to avoid the Chateau ! I definitely think you've mastered the art of loitering with intent or rather no intent of buying a drink at the wifi café !
Not fair. Well, maybe just a little bit. BUT it is a tad rich for your guests to complain that you didn't get them to a chosen destination, when one of the reasons was that you were BOTH singing so lustily and untunefully, into a hairbrush, whilst driving along the road, that the turning somehow got missed. Three times! That did actually happen. I had to pull over into a row of shops we were laughing so hard. I also seem to remember that the guest said "let's not bother with the chateau as I am having too much fun singing to the Pet Shop Boys"!!!
Lou also gave us plenty of amusement on her departure day. Both of them had flown out on the rather notorious budget airline Ryan Air, which is so strict, you handbag has to be inside whatever you are carrying on, If you have two items in your hands, one bit becomes luggage and you pay a huge fee. Lou declined my offer to weigh her luggage BEFORE getting to the airport, so when we reached there and realised her hand luggage was 2 kilos over, we needed some fancy footwork. Jack loitered near the check in to see how much weight people were getting away with, while Lou and I tried every combination to get her luggage to the correct weight. It ended up with Lou wearing the following clothes: a tee-shirt, a shirt, a thin sweatshirt, a small jacket, her jacket and a scarf wrapped round her neck. All this on what may have been the hottest day of her stay! AND her pockets were full! The poor girl was breaking out into sweats in the check in queue!
Oh yes, I can't forget when Jack and I strayed into a chocolate shop that also sold cakes. We were laughing about something in the window when we went in, which set the woman serving into conversation with us, in French of course. She gave us a chocolate each to taste and the next thing you know an HOUR plus had passed! During this time we discussed things about chocolate I didn't even want to know and could have barely understood in English (the amount of sorbitol used, why their chocolates don't get a bloom on them, how talented the chocolatier was, where the best chocolate was to be found, what its consistency was like), it went on and on. Just when we thought she was finished, we moved onto food. The horrified look on hers and the chocolate maker's faces when they found out that Jack was a vegetarian, had to be seen to be believed. Before long we were getting recipes for the best way to cook and eat foie gras. Well, I was getting the recipes, Jack was trying hard not to throw up or muster an army of animal liberators to raid the joint. We finally got out the door and stumbled, freezing cold (the shop was practically sub-zero because of the chocolates), to the end of the street, where we both literally started crying with laughter. We could not believe what had just happened. All we had wanted was a couple of lemon tarts!
Of course the other big story was the bat in our house. First Alan didn't believe that I had seen it (you know that look ladies, your husband/partner has that little smirk on his lips and a look that says 'she's been at the cooking sherry again'). Ha! Well didn't he have to eat humble pie when the bat was discovered on a staircase. To get him out we literally had to knock him to the floor (that bat clung on to the wall for dear life) and then using a bin, a magazine and a bit or wood, we managed to get him out of the house. Alan took him to the end of the garden and I leaned out a bedroom window to film the release. Er, if I was upstairs and Alan at the end of the garden, who was shutting the windows downstairs? Nobody it appears as the thing flew right back at the house again!
On my final evening, after my friends had left, I sat with my feet up and the remains of a bottle of wine to watch television. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. Oh no, I had a mouse in the house! I banged and pushed the sofa but it wouldn't come out. I went back to watching tv, knowing that I had no recourse but to put down a trap. Our of the corner of my eye, I saw something move, well not so much move as hop and I swear its ears were sticking up above its head. I wondered if the drink had gone to my head. I set some traps and went to bed. In the morning, prior to my departure, the traps were empty.
By the time I told Alan this story, I have to admit I was somewhat skeptical myself about the hopping, big eared mouse and Alan just got that look back on his face again. Then yesterday, I downloaded my holiday snaps and what did I see?
Those big ears look awfully familiar! It had been the dratted bat hopping around the sitting room and now it is locked in the house!!! And Jack, if you are reading this and laughing, just remember who was sleeping in the bedroom downstairs!!!
Finally, a right proper travel log from you.
ReplyDeleteWonderful photos, stories, and a chance to see your friends and family. From one who lives on the edge of the salt flats, all I can say is that it is an amazing way to spend an end of summer holiday! jt